Not to be Confused with ‘Perfectionism’

I listened to a podcast by Peggy Hall where she was calling herself a “perfectionist.”

I said the following to her:

What you are calling "perfectionism" as far as communication and teaching others, I have experienced as my deeply needing to be understood, believed, related to and resonated with so I’m not essentially doing and processing life alone.

My entire life this has been difficult to find, starting with my own parents at a young age.

Being highly aware, attuned, discerning, with strong intuition and ethics/principles and needing truth at all costs, I always wondered why I couldn't find anyone who I could get close to and communicate honestly and deeply with.

Perhaps, there's something like this going on with you as well?

I am my family scapegoat and was gaslit by family and others--not to mention the gaslighting always happening in society. So it's felt like living in a psychological thriller (reference the movies The Matrix, The Truman Show, and the masses responses to “news” stories).

I've longed for someone who sees and rises above WITH me. I'm praying to finally meet my person (no more settling and thinking the problem is me... not trying, teaching, justifying, explaining enough to people who don't want to know, don't want to know themselves or me, and don't want deep closeness on a level where I reside.)

To those of you who know that something seriously wrong has been going on our whole lives: from relationship to surroundings to society and beyond, I would love to speak with you. Pro truth. Pro reality. Realist. Genuine. Sincere.