Capacity of Understanding

If you’re like me and you highly-value clarity, sincerity and truth, you might also have found yourself spending a lot of energy and time asking questions and explaining to many of the wrong people. I was motivated by misunderstanding.

I have finally learned to not waste my time and energy explaining myself and perspective in order for the wrong people to understand me and to be on the same page—rather than determining first if they even have the capacity of understanding.

I have learned I have to stop being accessible to people who cannot receive, without distortion, what I bring to the table.

My accessibility needs to be earned because

• Explanation costs me nervous-system energy.

• Context must be worth the cost of my emotional labor.

• Discernment is a high-order cognitive function (it’s not for treating casually).

For me, those are life-force outputs.

Without the capacity of understanding, we already aren’t on the same page, and the person and I won’t resonate.

Those who prove the capacity of understanding

• have curiosity oriented toward learning and growth, without defensiveness

• have an ability to tolerate complexity

• aren’t reactive to discernment

• have a shared ethical orientation

Without that, I just keep to myself beyond basic human dignity and providing data that’s needed for tasks.

Now misunderstanding is a disqualifier instead of a motivator for me to explain and share more.

Do you need support in letting go of needing to be on the same page with the wrong people? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.