Learning They Didn’t & Don’t Love You

It’s such a painful journey to recognizing the people who you thought loved you did not and do not.

For me, the part that was most painful was seeing how I duped myself into thinking they did love me.

Of course, as a young child, I didn’t know. But as I got closer to teenage years, I’m sure I had an idea. In teenage years, any bit of frustration that I tried to stuff down, was my clue that I at least subconsciously knew.

And later, in adult relationships, I knew. I just thought I could adapt to it. Or I thought I could fix it. Both of my responses only showed that I knew.

But here’s the key: once I accepted they didn’t and don’t love me, I was free.

Why am I free? Because I stopped beating myself up by longing for them, by trying to fix myself, by trying to fix the relationship, by being heart-broken and asking “why?”, by being angry about their choices, by begging for them to choose me, by trying to convince them of my value.

“Ohhh. Now I get it. You don’t love me. Now it all makes sense. Everything you did makes sense. And now I can put my energy elsewhere, and get on with creating a better life.”

Please contact me if you need help accepting that they didn’t love you so you, too, can be free.