Red Flag: Access without Bond

I’ve been confused by people who actually only wanted access to me, yet didn’t want a bond with me.

But most of the people I’ve loved have been like this.

I wish they would have said to me

“I’m not like you. I don’t want what you want. I just want casual with you. I will take your depth and you can accept and not point out my shallowness and performance.”

That full disclosure would have helped me make important decisions.

But of course people who are ambiguous are ambiguous on purpose. Telling the truth makes them lose access.

Now I know: instead of looking for honesty and clarity in people who don’t need to be honest and clear on their own accord, I simply read the level of their behaviors.

I no longer can be gaslit and tricked into thinking someone’s behavior is temporary, and that they just need more and :better” from me (by more it turns out to be: less expectation from me and more of my tolerating less-than).

Do you need to talk with someone who is Pro truth, Pro reality, Realist, Genuine, Sincere? I’d love speak with you.