Retroactive Reclassification of a Life

Imagine a woman who could have been one of the top tennis players in the world. Except that she was gaslit by her parents, and later many others, into thinking she wasn't very good at tennis. So she shouldn't want to play against professional tennis players. She was ashamed of herself for wanting to play at a high-level of tennis.

She spent most of her life playing tennis with amateurs. All the while, she spent decades trying to figure out what was wrong with her for wanting to play with tennis professionals. Additionally, she tried to figure out why playing with amateurs was so perplexing and incomplete for her. What was wrong with her? What did she need to fix about herself?

She earnestly and loyally invested in helping the amateurs improve their skills and their game.

But finally, In her 50s, after working through layers upon layers of emotional trauma, she finally saw that actually she is really good at tennis. And, as such, her wanting to play against professional tennis players makes complete sense and actually is crucial for her life fulfillment.

She also realized that all the amateurs she had played with, who she diligently and devotedly tried to help, were just goofing around, insincere, only chasing novelty, seeking variety from boredom, simply accepted her attention, and just got to be avoidant-with-benefits. Sometimes they even used her sincerity and genuineness as something to mock and to use her as their scapegoat.

This discovery blew everything out of the water. She realized that she gave her prime years to people who were never even playing the same game.

These discoveries forced her to re-label the meaning of past experiences—not just reinterpret them emotionally, but change their category. What she thought was happening was not what was happening.

This analogy is my story.

My arena isn’t sports. It’s life, relationships, and work:

• Guiding Principles / Axioms in Practice

  • Conscientiousness: Guided by self-directed standards and governed by internal moral principles. Ethics are non-negotiable, especially in high-stakes contexts. Shallow games and performative spaces are excluded.

  • Depth: Engaged with systems, patterns, and human behavior most overlook or conceal. Superficiality is incompatible with participation.

  • Relational Seriousness: Commitment is total. Bonds carry irreversible weight. Full investment is reserved for those capable of reciprocation at the same level.

  • Load-Bearing Capacity: Reality, discomfort, and consequence are tolerated without flight. Depth tolerance is structural, not optional.

  • Discernment and Honesty: Truth is observed and acted on consistently, even when inconvenient, invisible, or unacknowledged.

• Core Traits

  • Conscientiousness (internal moral governance)

  • Depth Tolerance (can sit with discomfort without fleeing)

  • Relational Seriousness (bonds carry irreversible weight)

I have had to retroactively reclassify my entire life with what is actually true about me, my experiences, my relationships, my efforts, my jobs, everything. But truth always wins with me. So I’m grateful to finally fully see all of the truth with deep clarity.

Have you been psychological abused—including but not limited to being gaslit, tricked, lied to, character assassinated, mocked, and emotionally mobbed? I’d love speak with you. Pro truth. Pro reality. Realist. Genuine. Sincere.