Talking Aloud to Self: A Must

When I was raising my children, we were together much of the time. We would say to each other what was on our minds, what we’re thinking, feeling, struggling with, and also brainstormed and processed.

In other words, we were transparent and honest. We made it easy for us to know ourselves and each other. We were very attuned to one another, we were close and invested in our relationships. In good part to speaking aloud frequently.

That set the standard and set the bar for me.

All of my life before children, I tolerated lack of communication interest from others, and even mind games and stonewalling. No wonder I thought something was wrong with me for wanting to go deeper, know deeper and have the safety of getting the truth and understanding on an on-going basis.

So once I experienced this sort of closeness with my children, I expected the minimum of that in an adult relationship!

I’ve been disappointed again and again. Finding most people aren’t like that. And that many grown adults don’t even know themselves.

Can a grown adult learn how to be part of this type of shared-reality, attuned dynamic?

I believe so. By talking aloud to oneself. This way we can actually hear ourselves think; as such, we get to know ourselves. It also fosters being really honest with and to face ourselves. We are forced to look at ourselves, instead of being lost in thoughts and daydreaming with no real sense of order happening within us.

We can even ask ourselves questions aloud to find out what is going on within us and what we want. We can encourage ourselves aloud when our responsibilities are really hard.

I have found talking aloud is much better than writing because our voices can articulate much quicker than writing. And we can speak in situations and locations where writing wouldn’t be possible or easily done (whispering to self or mouthing the words can be almost as good when we have to do this).

With writing, we can censor ourselves much easier than if we are just streaming our thoughts verbally.

Once we get into the habit of talking aloud to ourselves, then we are well on our way to having an honest, transparent, attuned relationship.

Do you want support in getting to know yourself? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.