Creating Tools for Inner Child
Here is something I have done to help with my toxic childhood and resulting current trauma.
I felt I needed to visualize giving my 4-year-old self a helpful technique to cope with my parents and life. I came up with the following technique based on thinking of what a 4-year-old would understand and be able to do.
Stop. Send Help.
1 - Recognize when something hurtful is happening to you—even in your own thoughts.
2 - Hold your hand out like a stop sign and say, "Stop."
You could add "You're hurting me" if it's safe to do so.
You can say this to the person hurting you if it’s safe to do so, or get alone and say it to yourself aloud or quietly.
3 - Point up to the heavens and say, "Send help!"
You don't have to know what kind of help you need from God or in what form. It's a straight-forward request and plea you can say even during a panic attack.
4 - Feel your body and nervous system begin to calm down from knowing you don't have to figure things out. Help is on its way.
Other important instructions:
5 - Stay away as much as possible from hurtful people.
Even if it’s a different corner of the room.
6 - When speaking, say “Thank you” for the helpful things people do for you. But say very little else.
7 - Reserve yourself for the people who understand and relate to you and who you feel safe with. Sometimes you might have to wait a very long time. Sometimes you get to enjoy such people for only a few moments.
Anything good, any good thoughts, anyone good, each are God’s angels. He sends them to help you.
8 - Be your own best friend.
Stay with yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Talk to yourself with encouraging and loving words.
Put your hand on your heart.
Put your hand on your belly.
Talk to Jesus.
Find joy in each of the little things you do and in just being your unique self. See your choices and yourself as art.
In all of this, in everything, stand on your strong integrity, ethics, principles, intuition, standards, humility and the truth.
Healing
I have been using this technique and It's been very healing.
Also EFT tapping has been very helpful.
No. Stop.
Did you learn to say NO or STOP as a child? (I sure didn't.) How about now?
In self-defense classes I've seen these days, including for kids, a big part of it is saying NO or STOP in a very commanding way. One instructor said that alone can make some criminals back off. It's so important for our bodies, nervous system, and minds to know we have the ability to demand this and mean business.
Do you need support in finding solutions for your past self? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.