‘Get a Dog instead of a Partner’

I can’t tell you how many times have I read and heard people say, “I got a dog. Much better than having a partner!”?

What?! That tells me quite a bit about their standards, their emotional needs, their lifestyles and their attachment styles.

Dogs are companions, yes. I’ve read about how petting an animal calms the nervous system. Many dogs are “loyal” in that they greet their owners at the door and follow them around. Not all dogs are “loyal” as far as protecting their owner and not seeking to be pet by everyone they encounter, but I digress.

Some of us want more than companionship. Some of us want shared reality, ethics, values, principles, consciousness, collaboration, two minds, two hearts, teammates, making decisions together, co-regulating, co-creating, being each other’s ally and advocate, sharing goals and life in every facet.

To the people who prefer animals over people: No worries, you have an entire society that supports this concept. And I think you have to do what’s right for you. I understand that some people really need pets to calm their nervous system. Calming our nervous systems is crucial for functioning. Also, so many animals are absolutely adorable.

To those who actually need a partner, I support you. I relate to you. I empathize with you. It’s much more challenging to find a partner match than it is finding a pet companion. Likely your standards are higher with people than with pets.

In the meantime, don’t leave yourself stranded and alone. Take care of your basic needs and make ethical choices to calm your nervous system—all of which will help you attract a partner who lives on your level of principles, morals, ethics and values and shares similar lifestyles and goals.

Do you need support in learning ethical self-care? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.