Why I’m Careful Giving ‘Self Care’ Advice
Our culture supports and encourages hedonism, self-absorption, dissociation, infatuation with the superficial, and moral relativism.
I personally have been deeply-involved with, invested in and loved, people who self-soothe by
taking drugs and alcohol
bullying other people
character assassinating
gossiping
gaslighting
shape-shifting
conforming
people-pleasing
erasing loved ones
exploiting
cheating
triangulating
lying
sneakiness and hiding
conning, tricking and manipulating
having secret romances with themselves
porn
cheating and lusting
voyeurism
addiction to sensual arousal and attention
infatuation and obsession with others and the superficial
impulsiveness
being escape artists
being unreachable, untouchable, unattainable, inaccessible
dissociated and avoiding
living in a virtual reality
magical thinking
fantasizing
maladaptive daydreaming
spiritual by-passing
not relating
lacking in understanding of nuance
or otherwise lacking in honesty, truth, ethics, principles, integrity, consciousness, conscientiousness, growth-orientation, emotional EQ and maturity, intrinsic-motivation for doing what’s right
I don’t want to enable the wrong people.
To such people, I wouldn’t tell them they need to learn self-care because they wouldn’t get it. They don’t realize authentic self-care involves morals, ethics, principles, integrity, concern for ones spirit and soul,, considering loved ones, etc. at all times (even when alone). And if they were aware of it, they wouldn’t care. They are already meeting their own needs based on their own standards for themselves.
Because I’m aware of all of this, I always feel like I have to give a disclaimer when I encourage self-care.
Are you an ethical, principled person who needs support in believing you deserve ethical self-care? Are you involved with people who self-soothe in unethical ways? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.