What They’d Rather Do

“Let people do what they want to do, so you see what they'd rather do.”
- Unknown

I was in a relationship were I banked on who I thought the other person was, in addition to what I was told (all the promises; and being told “I am this way too…” and “I want that too…”).

There were red flags from the start and red flags continued throughout the relationship. But I thought that this person just was still figuring things out. So, I did plenty of explaining and leading by example, and trying to coax discussions in attempts to help. And eventually, I did a lot of teaching—especially trying to teach foundational values, ethics and integrity.

With all my explaining, leading, and teaching, I was essentially begging to be chosen and to be loved to someone who was always around, performed some acts-of-service and said a few of the “right” things (and I filled in many of the blanks myself)—but yet who was never really with me.

With the years of the red flags, all the “misunderstandings,” all of my confusion about this person’s actions and choices, and all the lies…I finally realized that this person simply was doing what they’d rather do. It took years to accept that because I so badly didn’t want it to be true.

Now I know to just let people show me who they are and what they choose to do and be. Then, from there, I can choose if I want to be involved or not.

I am careful to watch for people who pretend to be like me and pretend to share the same values, etc. (as the above person did). I witness numerous people living lives of performances and stimulation verses lives of integrity, sincerity and truth.

Let people show you who they really are.

Do you need help with accepting who a person really is? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.