You Have Everything They Could Ever Want, Yet…

I had met someone who I was very attracted to, naturally-adored, wanted to know deeply, to whom I wanted to give all of myself, and with whom I was more than ready to be all-in (meeting someone about whom I felt even one of these ways is extremely rare for me, let alone, feeling all of the above!).

This person claimed to need and want everything that I was so eager and needed to give. Yet, never really showed up in a deep way. Everything was just a performance, this person’s whole life was a series of performances, chasing stimulation and playing characters—which was very difficult to wrap my mind around and to accept.

Because of my intuition. life experience, awareness, and empathetic abilities, I knew that I truly could be—our relationship could be—more than enough for this person. The relationship and I could fill the life-long voids and we could grow deeply together. The relationship and I could have been the jackpot of a lifetime—for both of us.

But more than enough, the jackpot, isn’t what this person wanted. Performances, role-playing, universal attention, compartmentalizing, playing characters, and chasing stimulation and novelty were apparently more appealing. Disappointedly, this is all-to-common, in varying degrees, with many people in society.

It’s flabbergasting. The experience was like loving and being with a person who chooses hard drugs over love and connection.

I finally learned, with much resistance, that just because I have to give so much to someone who I love and adore, doesn’t mean it’s wanted or reciprocated.

What really matters to me is being aligned in all of these traits and virtues:

• morals

• ethics

• values

• principles

• truth

• integrity

• sincerity

• presence

• loyalty

• devotion

• being conscious, aware & intuitive

• emotional maturity & depth

• desire for sacred partnership & exclusivity

• desire for shared reality & mutuality

• relating

• desire to be vulnerable, deeply known & to deeply know the other

• sensitively considering each other & the relationship in all choices

• including each other in all areas of our lives

• being each other’s and the relationship’s allies, advocates & protectors

• having a similar orientation to life & relationships

• co-creating

• co-regulating

• collaboration

Before I fall for someone again, before I even let anyone into my precious life and space, I will make sure that we are a match especially in these foundational ways.

This person’s choice to lose me and all I have to give and share—in order to keep chasing novelty, stimulation, attention from anyone, performance and lies—is ultimately my gain. I dodged a bullet. Thank God for His help, strength, wisdom and mercy.

Do you need support in standing for what really matters in life? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.