It Was All a ‘Joke’
Now that I’ve gotten to the very root of my life-long struggles; now that I’ve gotten crystal clear about almost everyone I have dealt with, saw potential in, gave the benefit-of-the-doubt to, invested in my entire life, what I’m facing now is that
It was all a joke!
All my past relationships (besides with my adult children) now look like a joke to me because I approached them with full sincerity and genuineness. Only to now see that most people I engaged with weren’t even with me.
I invested fully: my attention, loyalty, desire, and life structure were all aligned to a relational system that demanded ethics, transparency, discernment, and exclusivity.
My axioms, seriousness, and relational honesty defined what it meant to be in a relationship with me.
What I got instead:
Manipulative deflection: I was told I was “too intense” or “thinking too much” whenever I referenced my standards, or my perspective, so that their failure to align could appear like my flaw.
A game: they treated high-stakes commitment like optional entertainment, performing engagement without real alignment or responsibility.
Absence from the table: they claimed alignment verbally while continuing behaviors that violated the system I required.
The reality:
The mismatch was entirely theirs.
All the pain, self-doubt, and compromise I experienced came from their inability to show up honestly in a high-stakes system.
My genuineness and sincerity were constant, and my seriousness, ethics, and investment were never the problem; they were standards they couldn’t meet.
Now that I recognize this, the past is absurd in hindsight. I wasn’t wrong or “too much”; I was fully real, fully ethically-accountable, fully invested, with people who were either absent or operating on a completely different level.
It feels like I was the “Truman” character in the movie The Truman Show. Everyone around him knew they were performing, and that none of it was real—except Truman. He logically assumed it was all real, genuine sincere. What’s worse is they all willingly gas-lit Truman and let him believe it was real. This is mob psychological abuse. And it’s disgusting.
I have had to completely recalibrate my history and my life with the correct information.
Had I known, since a young age, who I was really dealing with, I would have hunkered down and protected myself from all of them. And I would have had my radar up only for someone at my level.
“Abandon all attempts at sincere communication when communicating with the insincere.”
-Richard Grannon
Am I bitter or resentful towards those people? No, I’m not. Why? Because I can’t expect much from people like that. Essentially, they are jokers and con-artists and actors, just like in The Truman Show. But they still are responsible and accountable; it’s just that it’s not my problem anymore—God will handle them.
I’m so relieved the joke’s over.
Have you been psychologically abused? I’d love speak with you. Pro truth. Pro reality. Realist. Genuine. Sincere.